Lowcountry Stranger

By Ashley Farley

Series: Sweeney Sisters #2
Release date: July 1, 2016
Genre: Women’s Fiction, Family, Small-town, Chick-Lit

Synopsis

There’s a stranger in town. And it’s no coincidence when she shows up uninvited at a Sweeney family wedding. All eyes are drawn to this urchin who seems to have washed in with the tide. Before the night is over, the doe-eyed waif charms young and old with her street smarts and spunky personality. For better or worse, Annie Dawn is here to stay.

The memorable Sweeney sisters from Her Sister’s Shoes have returned with more suspense and family drama to hold you spellbound until the dramatic conclusion. As she approaches the next stage of her life as an empty nester, Jackie is torn between expanding her fledgling design business and spending these last precious months with her boys before they fly the coop. Her own worst enemy, Sam is terrified of making a commitment to Eli Marshall, handsome police officer, true love of her life. Her resolve is tested when a ghost from her past shows up after nearly two decades. Faith nurtures her seven-year-old daughter who is recovering from the trauma of her abusive father. Is the threat in the past, or is there more danger on the horizon? The sisters seek guidance from their mother, Lovie, a true Southern matriarch who shows them how to respond to adversity with grace and dignity.

Things are heating up in the Lowcountry. The Sweeney sisters remind us, once again, that being a part of a family is about more than sharing the same DNA.

Amazon | Barnes and Noble | iTunes

Review

What a lovely journey back to the town of Prospect (close to Charleston) and a look into what is happening with the Sweeney family. This is the second book, so make sure you read Her Sister’s Shoes first.

All of the sisters have come a long ways from the first book. They had worked through issues but don’t think that everything is dandy. There are still some problems that need to be addressed for each sister, but it makes them better women for it by the end of the book.

All three sisters have their strengths and weaknesses and I saw myself in several of them. All of the characters were someone that I could relate to either personally or knew people like them. I am wondering about Lovie (the mother) and if a future book will reveal some mental health issues. Jackie is strong but realizes that perhaps not everything has to be about her. Sam has her own demons to fight and does confront a few during the book (can’t give away too much!). And Faith has a few scary moments too, but has a new husband to lean on during those times.

I really enjoyed this book, so much that I stayed up way to late to finish the book. There are some nail biting moments, some sad time but many happy times. I loved that the family always manages to come together despite any personal issues.

Need a beach read – then check out this series.  We give it 5 paws up.

Her Sister’s Shoes (Sweeny Sister’s #1)

Amazon | Barnes and Noble | iTunes

About the Author

Ashley Farley is a wife and mother of two college-aged children. She grew up in the salty marshes of South Carolina, but now lives in Richmond, Virginia, a city she loves for its history and traditions.

After her brother died in 1999 of an accidental overdose, she turned to writing as a way of releasing her pent-up emotions. She wrote SAVING BEN in honor of Neal, the boy she worshipped, the man she could not save. SAVING BEN is not a memoir, but a story about the special bond between siblings.

HER SISTER’S SHOES—June 2015—is a women’s novel that proves the healing power of family. Merry Mary—October 2015—a holiday novella, a young woman longing for a child stumbles upon a Christmas miracle. BREAKING THE STORY released on March 17, 2016. A romantic political suspense filled with passion, peril, and a scandal that will rock American politics.

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Hershey’s Choice

Choices Series

Darlene Fredette

Release Date: December 11, 2015
Publisher: The Wild Rose Press
Small Town, Humorous/Romantic Comedy
Sweet Contemporary, 184 pages, 45015 words
Britt may be Hershey’s choice, but can the boisterous Labrador convince his owner?

Engineer Ryan Jerome has a knack for designing the future but can’t create one for himself. When Ryan lets his dog, Hershey, take the lead, going to the park is never the same. Unintentional meetings, a soiled coat, and a meddling mother are a few of the obstacles in his way of convincing Britt he’s not a stalker. Will he accept his dog’s direction and open his heart to the beautiful woman with a side of crazy?

Ruined weddings, divorced parents, and disastrous relationships have left event planner Britt Wells a non-believer in happy-ever-after. She’s readying for a future in interior design with one last wedding to oversee. Complications arise when she learns a suspected stalker and owner of an unruly dog is related to her client. Falling for Ryan and Hershey were not part of the plan. Can she put aside her doubts in relationships and take a chance on love?

The Wild Rose Press * Amazon * Barnes & Noble

Excerpt

A thunderous pounding trampled the ground behind her. She turned to glance over her shoulder, but the bench suddenly jolted forward to hover on its front legs before landing roughly on all fours. “Ohh.” She would have toppled face forward if her heels hadn’t been firmly dug into the grass. Britt straightened then froze in mid-motion. Warm panting breaths caressed the base of her neck. Her own breath suspended in her throat. Without moving her head, she shifted her stare to the right.

Two very large brown paws gripped the back of the bench.

“Bear!” Britt jumped to her feet. Her coat and cold coffee flew into the air in a tangled dance. With a racing pulse, she spun to see the vicious beast before her impending death. The image of a man doubled-over at the waist turned her panic quickly to anger. Beside the laughing man sat the dog she had mistaken for a bear.

“You arrogant jerk! How dare you laugh when your beast of a dog scared the life out of me.”

Review

This is a light and clean romance but humor peppered throughout and a little tension between a few characters….basically a really good story!

I was in the mood for something light and this fit the bill perfectly.  Britt is a frustrated event planner who has taken a week off to coordinate her best friend’s wedding.  Ryan is unlucky in love, mostly due to his chocolate lab Hershey that doesn’t seem to like the women he dates.  Dogs are smart and Hershey isn’t going to let Ryan date the wrong woman.  And when Hershey senses Britt from across the park, he knows that she is the one for Ryan.  Of course Britt isn’t too sure about all of this but who could blame her for falling in love with Hershey…and Ryan.

There are a few twists such as who Ryan is related to in the story (can’t divulge too much because it is quite interesting how things come about).  There are some ups and downs in their relationship, but it all works out as it should (and if the book didn’t end this way it wouldn’t be a romance!)

If you like dogs and romance, check this book out.  We give it 4 1/2 paws up

About the Author

Darlene resides on the East Coast of Canada with her husband, daughter, and Yellow Lab. When not working on her next book, she enjoys spending time with her family. An avid reader since childhood, Darlene loves to develop the many stories swimming in her head. She writes heartwarming contemporary romances with a focus on plot-driven page-turners.

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Release Blitz

Porn Money and Wannabe Mummy 

Release date: 23rd March 

Synopsis

Author info

Laura Barnard lives in Hertfordshire, UK and writes romantic comedy or ‘chick lit’ as its so often described. In her spare time she enjoys drinking her body weight in tea, indulging in cupcakes the size of her face and drooling over hunks like Jamie Dornan, Ryan Gosling and Leo Dicaprio.

She enjoys wearing yoga pants and reading fitness magazines while sitting on the sofa eating chocolate. She’s a real fan of the power nap and of course READING!

She writes not to get rich or famous, but because she LOVES writing. Even if one person tells her they enjoyed her book it makes the midnight typing worth it!

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Giveaway

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Hosted by Two Ordinary Girls and their Books 

Synopsis

Readers first met sassy Kimberly Long in Blogger Girl, and now the feisty New Yorker is back in a sequel packed with quick wit, friendship, heartache, and, of course, romance.

Kim runs the most popular chick lit book blog on the web, loves playing house with her sexy lawyer boyfriend, Nicholas, and is finally pursuing her lifelong dream to become a published author. At first glance, her life is five-pink-champagne-flutes worthy.

But is there more to the story than meets the eye

After hearing the phrase “chick lit is dead” more times than she’s read Bridget Jones’s Diary, Kim is driven to desperate measures, seeking advice from up-and-coming chick lit author, Hannah Marshak, her high school nemesis and resident “mean girl.” As if Kim doesn’t have enough on her plate balancing her secretarial duties with her blog Pastel Is the New Black, shrugging off the growing pile of agent rejections, and keeping her best friend from turning green over Kim’s budding friendship with Hannah, Nicholas is so blinded by his career ambitions, he doesn’t see that their home sweet home could use more than a dash of sugar.

This is the year when all of Kim’s dreams—professional and romantic—are supposed to come true, but will the story have a happily ever after, or will Kim end up unpublished and all alone?

This novel can be read as a sequel or as a standalone and is best accompanied by a cocktail, preferably a pink one.

Read an Excerpt here

Review

This is the follow up story to Blogger Girl and I thought it was just as enjoyable. I know that I like reading about another blogger (even if fictional) and what she goes through with her book blog. Of course in this book, she has her man and now her dreams of becoming a published author are more to the forefront of her life.

Of course not everything is rosy – her boyfriend is working more and more and she sees him less and less, plus of course the usual problems – Hannah, her high school nemesis, and Daneen, her work nemesis.

I don’t remember all of Blogger Girl, but this book has some cursing and F bombs (BG may have, just don’t remember!) but not so much that it detracts from the story line. I like the conflict between Kimberly and Nicholas and how that plays out for the reader. And even her conflict with Hannah has Kimberly growing up and being more of an adult.

Enjoyable and a good read!  We give it 4 paws up.

About the Author

A born and bred New Yorker, Meredith Schorr discovered her passion for writing when she began to enjoy drafting work-related e-mails way more than she was probably supposed to. After trying her hand penning children’s stories and blogging her personal experiences, Meredith found her calling write chick lit and contemporary women’s fiction. She secures much inspiration from her day job as a hardworking trademark paralegal and her still-single status. Meredith is also the co-founder of Bookbuzz, a live author/reader event held annually. She is a loyal New York Yankees fan and an avid runner. Novelista Girl is Meredith’s fifth novel.

Website * Twitter * Facebook * Amazon

‘

Synopsis

“How’s Simon? What’s he up to? When’s he coming back to LA?”

Blah, blah, blah. I mean, come on, give me a break, this wasn’t really what I wanted to hear right now. Duh! I was his girlfriend, wouldn’t you think I was missing him? Maybe I didn’t want to go there, especially on New Year’s Eve! Wise up, people!

Sylvie is a trendy, LA party girl with more going on than she knows what to do with. Between apartment hunting, insane friends, a rapidly growing puppy, and one too many boys to juggle, she’s just trying to catch her breath. Will the craziness overwhelm her, or will she find a better path to move forward? Draw a bath, pour some bubbly, and join her as she tries not to Lose the Plot.

About the Author

Sonia was born and raised in Southern California, living most of her life in Hollywood. Her mother was French, so as a result, her summers were happily spent traveling between Paris and Cannes. She eventually developed a love for all things European and returned to live in London as a young adult.

Losing the Plot in LA is Sonia’s first novel. She currently lives by the sea in San Clemente, California with her dog, Holly, and is working on her second novel.

Goodreads * Twitter

Synopsis

Readers first met sassy Kimberly Long in Blogger Girl, and now the feisty New Yorker is back in a sequel packed with quick wit, friendship, heartache, and, of course, romance.

Kim runs the most popular chick lit book blog on the web, loves playing house with her sexy lawyer boyfriend, Nicholas, and is finally pursuing her lifelong dream to become a published author. At first glance, her life is five-pink-champagne-flutes worthy.

But is there more to the story than meets the eye

After hearing the phrase “chick lit is dead” more times than she’s read Bridget Jones’s Diary, Kim is driven to desperate measures, seeking advice from up-and-coming chick lit author, Hannah Marshak, her high school nemesis and resident “mean girl.” As if Kim doesn’t have enough on her plate balancing her secretarial duties with her blog Pastel Is the New Black, shrugging off the growing pile of agent rejections, and keeping her best friend from turning green over Kim’s budding friendship with Hannah, Nicholas is so blinded by his career ambitions, he doesn’t see that their home sweet home could use more than a dash of sugar.

This is the year when all of Kim’s dreams—professional and romantic—are supposed to come true, but will the story have a happily ever after, or will Kim end up unpublished and all alone?

This novel can be read as a sequel or as a standalone and is best accompanied by a cocktail, preferably a pink one.

Excerpt

CHAPTER ONE

To: KimMLong@gmail.com

From: Libby_Knox@Knoxliterary.com

Subject: Re: Query—A Blogger’s Life

Dear Ms. Long,

Thank you for your interest in Knox Literary. While I found the premise of A Blogger’s Life interesting, I’m afraid I wasn’t sufficiently intrigued to ask for more at this time. Because this business is so subjective, and opinions vary widely, we encourage you to query other agents.

After all, it only takes one.

Best of luck on your journey to publication.

Libby Knox

Knox Literary

I let out a deflated sigh before resting my head on my boyfriend Nicholas’s shoulder. It was a Sunday afternoon, and after a late lunch, we had come back to my place to watch television. Well, I was watching television—a romantic movie on the Hallmark Channel. Nicholas was doing work. As the in-house attorney for a cosmetics company, he often took work home with him.

Nicholas stopped typing furiously on his laptop. “What’s the matter, Kimmie?”

With my eyes closed, I responded, “I got another rejection from an agent.” Making it fourteen rejections in total for my chick lit novel, A Blogger’s Life. When I finally gathered the courage to write a novel—a complete manuscript with a beginning, middle, and an end, as opposed to a partial story that I shoved in the back of my closet unfinished—I knew the journey to publication would be difficult. Now, I was thinking “impossible” was a more befitting adjective.

Giving my hand a gentle squeeze, Nicholas said, “I’m sorry.”

I opened my eyes and sat up. “Me, too.”

“It’s just one agent. Did you know Kathryn Stockett received sixty rejections of The Help before she got an agent?”

I jerked my head back in surprise. “I did know that. How did you know that?”

Nicholas smiled. “I did some research after your last rejection.”

I kissed his cheek and ran my palm up against his ever-present five o’clock shadow. “How nice of you.”

“I’m a nice guy.” Nicholas paused for a beat. “For a player, that is.”

When I first met Nicholas a little over a year ago, he was an attorney at the New York City firm where I worked (and still work) as a legal secretary. He was single, successful, hot, and flirtatious. Naturally, I assumed he was a player when we first hooked up. Either that, or out of my league. What would someone with his credentials want with me—a measly legal secretary with a nice rack? When Nicholas gently suggested my dreams might extend beyond book blogging to book writing, I worried maybe he was the one who wanted me to be a writer so I would be “good enough” to hang with all of his successful friends. I was blinded by my insecurity, but after some soul-searching, I concluded he was right, and I was wrong—something he enjoyed reminding me of on a regular basis. It had been almost six months since our reconciliation, and sometimes I still had to pinch myself to confirm that the guy I adored—the one who not only caused my knees to go weak and the butterflies to dance in my belly whenever he touched me, but also made me laugh and encouraged my dream to be a published author—was equally crazy about me. I was in love big time but too chicken to be the first to say the words.

I playfully punched his arm. “Are you ever gonna let that go?”

Nicholas flashed me a sexy grin. “Not likely.”

I shook my head in mock annoyance. Inching closer to him on my love seat, I draped one of my legs over his and sighed. “Maybe I should have tried to publish Read My Mind first.” A Blogger’s Life was technically my second novel. I had given up writing Read My Mind in high school only to pick it up and finally finish it ten years later. Although Read My Mind was the novel that qualified me as a “finisher,” I ultimately decided to shelve it and pursue A Blogger’s Life instead.

Crinkling his brow, Nicholas asked, “I thought you said this one was much better.”

Rubbing the opal pendant on my necklace, I said, “Do you not think so?”

Nicholas shook his head. “I can’t say. I haven’t started reading it yet.” Probably noticing my face drop, he added, “I promise I will soon.”

“It is better, but apparently, chick lit is dead among traditional publishers unless you’re an established author in the genre. Young adult paranormal, on the other hand, is hot.”

“Considering how many fans Pastel Is the New Black has, I’d say chick lit is pretty hot, too.” Patting my knee, he added, “Almost as hot as its founder.”

Nicholas was correct that my book blog, Pastel Is the New Black, had thousands of followers. Unfortunately for me, none of those fans were literary agents as far as I knew. “Why couldn’t I have written A Blogger’s Life ten years ago when chick lit was on fire?” I whined. Considering I didn’t even know what a blog was when I was nineteen, it was a rhetorical question.

“It is what it is, Kimmie.” Nicholas ran one hand along my thigh and then slowly up to the zipper on my black skinny jeans. “Anything I can do to make you feel better?” he asked.

“You can try, but it will be hard.”

Placing my hand over his crotch, he said, “It’s very hard, but you’re worth it.”

There was nothing I wanted more—besides an offer for agent representation—than to get down and dirty with Nicholas right then and there, but I was so behind on book reviews for my blog. I also wanted to make some revisions to my agent query letter based on suggestions from one of my author friends. And I knew Nicholas was swamped, too. I decided a compromise was in order. “How about we do it in an hour?”

Nicholas frowned and tugged at my zipper. “But I want to do it now,” he said, adopting the bratty entitled voice of Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory.

Sliding away from him, I said, “It’s called delayed gratification. You should try it.”

Nicholas got up from the couch and stood in front of me. Extending his hand, he said, “You don’t want to make my brown eyes blue? Do you, Kimmie?” He frowned, drawing my eyes to his full and completely bitable lower lip.

I couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue” had become “our” song the night we got back together. I sang it to him at karaoke in a grand gesture when my two best friends, Bridget and Caroline, dared me to stop moping about and write my own happy ending.

I reached for Nicholas’s hand and allowed him to pull me to a standing position. “I don’t want anything of yours to be blue,” I said as my eyes dropped down to his groin.

Leading me to my bedroom, he said, “That makes two of us.”

As promised, Nicholas made me feel better. He had mad skills. But even as I writhed in ecstasy beneath him, I wondered if my fifteenth rejection letter had already landed in my in-box.

About the Author

A born and bred New Yorker, Meredith Schorr discovered her passion for writing when she began to enjoy drafting work-related e-mails way more than she was probably supposed to. After trying her hand penning children’s stories and blogging her personal experiences, Meredith found her calling write chick lit and contemporary women’s fiction. She secures much inspiration from her day job as a hardworking trademark paralegal and her still-single status. Meredith is also the co-founder of Bookbuzz, a live author/reader event held annually. She is a loyal New York Yankees fan and an avid runner. Novelista Girl is Meredith’s fifth novel.

Website * Twitter * Facebook * Amazon

‘

Synopsis

Clutch is the laugh-out-loud, chick lit story that chronicles the dating misadventures of Caroline Johnson, a single purse designer, who goes through a series of unsuccessful romantic relationships she compares to various styles of handbags – the “Hobo” starving artist, the “Diaper Bag” single dad, the “Briefcase” intense businessman, etc.  With her best friend, bar owner Mike by her side, the overly-accommodating Caroline drinks Chardonnay, puts her heart on the line, endures her share of unworthy suitors and finds the courage to stand up for the handbag style that embodies what she ultimately wants – the “Clutch” or someone to hold onto.

Trailer

About the Author

In addition to her new book, clutch: a novel, Lisa Becker is the author of the Click Trilogy, a contemporary romance series comprised of Click: An Online Love Story, Double Click and Right Click.  She’s written bylined articles about dating and relationships for “Cupid’s Pulse,” “The Perfect Soulmate,” “GalTime,” “Single Edition,” “Healthy B Daily” and “Chick Lit Central” among others.  She lives in Manhattan Beach, California with her husband and two daughters.

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Lisa’s other books (I have read the first two and you can read my reviews here and here!)

Click: An Online Love Story, Double Click, Right Click

Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace by Becky Monson

If there’s one thing that Bridgette Reynolds has learned recently, it’s that the perfect shoes, the perfect hair, and the perfect dress do not make for the perfect proposal. In fact, sometimes they make for the not-so-perfect breakup.

Now, Bridgette must do everything in her power to win Adam back. She knows they are meant to be. And nothing will stand in her way—not her friends, not her grandmother, not even the fact that Adam is now engaged to Serene after a whirlwind romance.

Focused on her plan to win Adam back, Bridgette isn’t expecting Ian—her college best friend, her love, her big regret—to come back into her life. They sink back into their comfortable friendship as if no time has passed at all, making Bridgette start to question her feelings for Adam. But Ian has a few secrets of his own . . . secrets that could shatter their friendship once and for all.

Bridgette has to make some major decisions—should she speak now? Or forever hold her peace?

Excerpt

Mondays are the pits for any employment, but especially if you work for Edelweiss Catering. Mondays are deemed “marketing days” by Ursula. Since catering can be rather slow on the first day of the week, except for the odd luncheon every now and then, we are asked to trade off doing street marketing. Today it happens to be my turn. Lucky me.

Street marketing consists of holding a sign on the street and passing out flyers to drum up business—in a German dirndl, no less. With my dark blonde hair in two braids, I basically look like Heidi. Well, a slightly slutty Heidi, as the top of this dress really emphasizes my chest area. Poor Justin is working with me today in lederhosen. His costume is worse than mine, by far.

Adam used to love it when I wore this outfit for work, the few times he saw me in it, at least. I tried to hide it from him for as long as possible, but it was inevitable he would see me in it someday. I had expected a horrified look, but instead he looked turned on by the getup and asked me if I would wear it for him later. I agreed at the time but never followed through.

Justin and I paste on fake smiles as we stand out on the corner of Wall and Broad Streets, Justin twirling the fairly large rectangular sign and me passing out quarter-sheet-size flyers.

“This is degrading,” Justin says through smiling, gritted teeth.

“You say that every time,” I say, keeping my smile intact as well. “If you hate it so much, then why not find another job?” I try to hand out a flyer to a passerby who completely ignores me.

“And miss seeing Ursula? What would my life be worth then?” he says with a cheeky grin.

Praise for the Book

“Can I give this book a 10? It was so fantastic!” -Taking Time For Mommy
“Speak Now grabbed me from the beginning! This is the perfect escape/beach read – light and fun, amusing with some tearful moments.” -Reviewing in Chaos
“Chick-Lit at its most enjoyable.” – Life With Katie

Amazon * Barnes & Noble * Kobo * iTunes

About the Author

By day, Becky Monson is a mother to three young children, and a wife. By night, she escapes with reading books and writing. In her debut novel, Becky uses humor and true-life experiences to bring her characters to life. She loves all things chick-lit (movies, books, etc.), and wishes she had a British accent. She has recently given up Diet Coke for the fiftieth time and is hopeful this time will last… but it probably won’t.

Website * Facebook * Twitter * Pinterest

$100 Book Blast Giveaway

$100 Amazon Gift Card or Paypal Cash

Ends 8/28/15

Open only to those who can legally enter, receive and use an Amazon.com Gift Code or Paypal Cash. Winning Entry will be verified prior to prize being awarded. No purchase necessary. You must be 18 or older to enter or have your parent enter for you. The winner will be chosen by rafflecopter and announced here as well as emailed and will have 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen. This giveaway is in no way associated with Facebook, Twitter, Rafflecopter or any other entity unless otherwise specified. The number of eligible entries received determines the odds of winning. Giveaway was organized by Kathy from I Am A Reader and sponsored by the author. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW.

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Today is Mother’s Day, so first off, Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there whether you have the 2 or 4 legged kind of kids.  Secondly, I’m sure most of you will be able to relate to these time honored traditions of them wanting to spoil you.  But never fear, Pauline has some great tricks to help you get the most of your day!

8 Hacks for Mother’s Day (For When You Really Wish They Wouldn’t)

By Pauline Daley-Parril

1. Breakfast in Bed

It’s five minutes past dawn and you hear your kids banging cupboard doors down in the kitchen. Soon there will be syrup and pancake batter dripping from the walls, floors, countertops and overhead fixtures. Worse yet, you are about to be compelled to consume a plateful of cold pancakes that are burnt black on the outside while still remaining uncooked on the inside, all swimming in a bathtub’s worth of syrup.

The Hack: Quick. Hide the syrup. Give them a bag of chocolate chips and a package of paper muffin cups. Ask them to count all the chips into the cups. Tell them you would like a banana and twenty-thirteen chocolate chips for your breakfast. Ask Daddy to supervise. Hurry back to bed.

2.  The Card

Did your kids spend all of 47 seconds last week pouring school glue and dropping pieces of macaroni onto a piece of heart-shaped construction paper? Now you have to store that adorable handmade creation at the back of your closet for the rest of eternity with the rest of the collection of Penne necklaces and pasta shell pencil holders, right? That proves you love them right?

The Hack: Feeding them proves you love them too. Boil up a large pot of salted water, drop in the collected works, put your feet up and wait till all the noodles are al dente. Drain, toss in a handful of shredded cheese and voila! An easy mother’s day dinner is served. Don’t forget the paper plates.

3. The Husband With a Poor Sense of Timing

The minute you launch the kids on their way with the bag of chocolate chips, guess who slides back into bed beside you with less-than-minty morning breath and rough unshaven chin? Did he just scrape/nuzzle the back of your neck and offer you a “steamy” Mom’s Day present in the shower?

The Hack. You do want your pillow back right? If you want to unpoke his tongue from your ear fast, tell him he is a sweet boy and then remind him to call his Mom today to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day. Point out that an early call might be bad timing as maybe his Dad is also giving his Mom a steamy morning kiss right about now too. Use descriptive adjectives to make sure he gets the picture. Then punch him playfully in the arm and cackle, “Aren’t you just a chip off the old cock?” As he begins to gag a little, mention that you just downed a handful of chocolate chips. Mistake! Aren’t they just ripping right through you! Yell “outta my way,” jump out of bed and hop towards the bathroom with your hands pressed against your backside.

4. The Spa Day: Did you get a gift certificate for a day at the spa? Nope, neither did I. Don’t let that stop you.

The Hack: Of course the answer is to book your worthy self in for the salt scrub flotation cabin, lotus glow massage and mani-pedi with truffles as soon as possible.

5.  The Flowers

Every mother loves getting a gift of cut flowers right? Trouble is now you have to clip the stems properly on a 45 ° angle with a sharp florist’s knife, creatively arrange the blooms in a vase like the Pinterest people are watching, and change the slimy water everyday. As if you didn’t have enough to do. The baby is teething and the toddler is trying to flush the cat down the toilet and now you are in charge of freshening up those candy-pink Carnations.

The Hack: Fill a carafe with red wine and let it aerate for five minutes. If the baby is crying very loudly, feel free to skip the breathing step. Carefully arrange the blooms in the empty wine bottle. If you have too many stems, you may open a second bottle.

6. His Mother

There is no known hack for your Mother–in-Law. Deal with it.

7. Your Mother

In all the bustle and fun of enjoying your special day, did you forget to call your own mother to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day? I know. I forgot too. Kill me now.

The Hack: Google images to the rescue. Spice up your apology message with some links. Recommended search terms: “shirtless hot dudes.” “Old Spice Guy + snake. For a few blessed moments, she will probably forget that she ever had you. Of course you still owe her chocolate.

8. The Hugs and Kisses

Who needs to hack a Mother’s Day kiss and hug? It’s totally the best part. Take all the sweet squeezes and smacks that you can get—even if the chubby fingers are smeared with chocolate chips and the bearer of the lips still needs a shave.

 About the Author

Collette Yvonne has written more than 150 articles published in Ontario’s Dailies.  Her short story, Snapshots for Henry, was made into a short film directed by Teresa Hannigan and received a 2007 Genie nomination for Best Live Action Short Drama.  More of Yvonne’s short stories, including From the Cottage Porch and Wild Words 2010 appear in published anthologies. She is a graduate of Toronto’s York University with a BA degree in Creative Writing, creating both fiction and non-fiction works. Her latest novel, The Perils of Pauline was published by Astor + Blue Editions in January 2015.

Website * Twitter

Amazon * Barnes & Noble * Kobo