Posted in 3 1/2 paws, Dark, Review, Thriller on August 11, 2020

 

 

 

Title: SLOW DOWN

Author: Lee Matthew Goldberg

Publisher: All Due Respect

Pages: 270

Genre: Thriller/Noir

 

Synopsis

 

How far would you go to make your dreams come true? For budding writer and filmmaker Noah Spaeth, being a Production Assistant in director Dominick’s Bambach’s new avant-garde film isn’t enough. Neither is watching Dominick have an affair with the lead actress, the gorgeous but troubled Nevie Wyeth. For Noah’s dream is to get both the film and Nevie in the end, whatever the cost. And this obsession may soon become a reality once Dominick’s spurned wife Isadora reveals her femme fatale nature with a seductive plot to get rid of her husband for good.

Slow Down, a cross between the noir styling of James M. Cain and the dark satire of Bret Easton Ellis, is a thrilling page-turner that holds a mirror up to a media-saturated society that is constantly searching for the fastest way to get ahead, regardless of consequences.

 

 

 

 

 

Review

 

This is a tough book to review for several reasons.  I didn’t like any of the characters in this book. It was hard to find any redeeming characteristics in any of them.  Noah does start to redeem himself near the end (or at least I wanted him to come out ahead in the end), but it takes many bad decisions for that to happen.  It is also a very dark and gritty book, and by that, I mean lots of sex, drugs, drinking, and foul language. It is key to the progression of the book and characters, so just be prepared for those aspects. It also took me nearly 45% of the book to really understand what was happening and to have some of my own questions that I desired answers. I do believe all of the questions were answered, but the book does end with a few loose ends.

The book features entitled and spoiled characters, which is another reason why I don’t like them.  Perhaps it is not their fault since their parents have basically abandoned them (Noah and his two siblings), but this behavior is common today (sadly) and is hard to digest if one is not familiar with that type of lifestyle. Noah and his brother Dex have talent and potential, but seemingly take the easy way out of life.

Dominick is Noah’s mentor and brings him on to help him with his film. This is Noah’s dream but as a cocky 22 year old, feels like he could produce a better film. Maybe he could, but his ego tends to get the better of him.  It is this relationship that dooms Noah to the life he ends up with at the end. There are also some love interests for Noah, his longtime friend Nevie and Dominick’s wife, Isadora.  Isadora is one messed up woman.  That is all I am going to say about her because too much more would give away some of the storyline.

This is not normally a book I would pick up, but I did enjoy the twists and turns towards the end.  We give this 3 1/2 paws up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Excerpt

 

PROLOGUE

 

NOAH WATCHED THE PRODUCER’S ASSISTANT PLACE HER PURSE DOWN ON THE STOLEN RED COUCH. He’d taken everything in the apartment, all of it part of another man’s life that he now pretended to lead. The full-wattage smile she gave him never left her face, clear evidence she hadn’t been in the City long, the opposite of a native New Yorker like Nevie Wyeth. Nevie, with her panther-black hair and need for Fast—or any other drug someone had to offer. He was only reminded of Nevie because he’d been waiting endlessly for her to call. He was about to give up hope that she ever would.

“Kristy Edson,” the woman said, shaking his hand. She gave two quick pumps. “Mr. Bronfeld sent me over from the L.A. office.”

Noah knew that a guy like Barry Bronfeld was too much of a power player to ever appear in person, even though Apex Studios was giving Noah a gigantic deal for a novel and for a film based on that novel. The problem was that he hadn’t written a word yet.

“Kid, I can’t wait much longer,” Mr. Bronfeld had yelled on the phone the other night. “Just get it done, whatever it takes. I’m scouting locations already. We’re already spending a f*load of money.”

They had decided to say that the novel and subsequent film were “based on a true story” to avoid any legal ramifications. They would change all the names, but at the end of the day Mr. Bronfeld wanted as much of the truth in there as possible. The public craved answers and those answers sold books—reality sold books. Now the terrible things Noah did to make it in this business would be revealed in the guise of a story. Sins that nibbled at his soul more and more until all that remained were crumbs.

“So you’re here to…facilitate this?” he asked Kristy, nodding for her to take a seat on the red couch. He took out a pack of cigarettes and flipped one between his lips. His habit had ballooned from zero to two packs a day.

“Think of me as your cheerleader,” she said, smiling so hard that her back molars showed. He knew she was hungry for this “tell-all” coup, this bad boy bankroll in front of her. She pointed at his T-shirt that asked Who Am I?

“So who are you?”

“Why don’t you tell me when all this is done?”

Yesterday Mr. Bronfeld had threatened that Kristy would be Noah’s last chance; he’d be sued for breach of contract if the book wasn’t finished on time. He’d have to dictate his “novel” to her and then clean it up later on.

“The girl is in love with me,” Mr. Bronfeld had told him. “She can be trusted. And she stands to move up a bunch of rungs if she can get you to open up. She has no reason to go selling your story to some rag. Like I’ve told her some dark stuff. Shit I did at parties in the 80s that would get me arrested today. A hobo I once hit off the Pacific Coast Highway. Anyway… you’re damn young, Noah, but not for too much longer. This is your f*ing time to shine. All you gotta do is get me that goddamn book.”

“I’m ready whenever you are,” he heard Kristy say. She removed a digital recorder from her purse and placed it on the glass coffee table between them.

“I’m trying to think of the best way to start,” he said, his mind racing.

“How about when you first met Dominick?”

He put on a pair of sunglasses. There was no need for her to keep looking directly into his eyes.

“Listen, we have an expiration date here.” She was still smiling, but it seemed strained. “Gossip only lasts for so long and then people stop caring. They forget.”

It was hard for him to concentrate on what she was saying. He didn’t know if it was because his brain had turned to mush from all the Fast he’d done the year after college ended, or if it was something else.

“I’m a little on edge,” he said, checking his cell. “I’m waiting for a call, an important call.”

“Forget about everything else right now,” Kristy said, and motioned for him to put away his phone. “And it’s normal to be on edge. So how are we gonna get you to calm down?”

She placed her hand on his knee. He noticed she had a tiny gap between her front teeth. He pictured her ten years ago: getting off the bus in Hollywood with an overstuffed suitcase, overfed on impossible dreams.

“I have to say that Slow Down was robbed at the Oscars,” she said. “You totally deserved Best Director.”

She hadn’t taken her hand off his knee, rubbing it now and casting her spell.

“How can I be sure that you won’t screw me over?” he asked.

She stopped rubbing to put a hand over her heart.

“Why would I ever do that?”

“I promise you’ll have a different opinion of me after we’ve finished.”

“I have too much to lose if we don’t deliver your book. Barry is financing most of your deal himself, and he’ll attach me as producer. He’ll give me the world.”

“You do know he’s married.”

She pouted her lips and shrugged her shoulders.

Noah felt his cell ring. He fumbled around in his pocket and picked it up after the first buzz.

“Hello,” he said, chewing on his lip.

“Noah!” a gruff voice shouted through the receiver. “Barry Bronfeld here. How’s it working out with Kristy so far?” Noah pictured this bigwig on the other end. Manatee-sized and wearing globular rings filled with cocaine that he’d snort in between meetings. The only bastard in Hollywood that promised double anyone else’s offer.

“Tell me we got a f*ing masterpiece here, kid.”

Noah took another drag and exhaled the smoke through his nose.

“We’ve got a f*ing masterpiece here, kid.”

“Noah, you are a hil-a-ri-ous son of a bitch. You hand me a goldmine and I’ll give you carte blanche with the entire project, even forget about any of these delays. Ah shit, I got Tommy Cruise on the other line…Ciao.”

Noah tossed the cell from one hand to the other, rubbing his tired eyes.

He glanced down as if willing it to ring again.

“Sometimes I think about taking a permanent vacation. Away from all the paparazzi.”

He looked out of the window toward a crowd of photographers below.

“Is it like this everyday?”

“With the film being so big, and of course after what happened….”

“So how true are all the rumors?”

He noticed her staring at the giant painting hanging on the wall. A blank white canvas with a yellow circle in the center and traces of red splattered across the bottom in the shape of a handprint.

“The painting caught your eye?”

“Yes…I’m trying to understand the significance of the red handprint, obviously the yellow circle represents–”

“Not everything has to have a meaning.”

“No, of course not, it’s just the yellow circle resembles the tattoos the different girls had in Slow Down, so I thought the red handprint might symbolize blood or death–”

“I’m ready to begin,” he said, more forcefully than he intended.

“Right….absolutely. Time is money.”

She turned on the digital recorder, her fingers lightly shaking. The apartment remained silent for a long, drawn-out minute.

“I met Dominick Bambach four long years ago.” He let out a laugh that sounded like he was gagging. “And I can’t help but wonder, what if I never had? Where would I be now? Who would I be? Sometimes I feel like the real me died a long time ago, or at least whatever part of me was worthwhile.”

He took a deep breath, one last moment of quiet before the purge. He knew that once he’d begin, he wouldn’t allow himself to stop until he reached the brutal end. He sucked in a last hit of smoke and crashed the butt into an ashtray filled with a pile of other snuffed casualties.

“So here it goes….”

 

 

About the Author

 

Lee Matthew Goldberg is the author of the novels THE DESIRE CARD, THE MENTOR, and SLOW DOWN. He has been published in multiple languages and nominated for the 2018 Prix du Polar. The second book in the Desire Card series, PREY NO MORE, is forthcoming, along with his Alaskan Gold Rush novel THE ANCESTOR. He is the editor-in-chief and co-founder of Fringe, dedicated to publishing fiction that’s outside-of-the-box. His pilots and screenplays have been finalists in Script Pipeline, Book Pipeline, Stage 32, We Screenplay, the New York Screenplay, Screencraft, and the Hollywood Screenplay contests. After graduating with an MFA from the New School, his writing has also appeared in the anthology DIRTY BOULEVARD, The Millions, Cagibi, The Montreal Review, The Adirondack Review, The New Plains Review, Underwood Press, Monologging and others. He is the co-curator of The Guerrilla Lit Reading Series and lives in New York City.

 

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Posted in 3 1/2 paws, Anthology, Dark, Review on January 21, 2018

Synopsis

17 stories of difficult love, broken hearts, lost hope, and discarded truths. Love brings pain, vulnerability, and demands of revenge. Hardened Hearts spills the sum of darkness and light concerning the measures of love; including works from Meg Elison, author of The Book of the Unnamed Midwife (Winner of the Philip K. Dick Award), Tom Deady, author of Haven (Winner of the Bram Stoker Award for Superior Achievement in a First Novel), Gwendolyn Kiste, author of And Her Smile Will Untether the Universe and Pretty Marys All in a Row, and many more.

Hardened Hearts dips from speculative, horror, science fiction, fantasy, into literary and then out of the classifiable and into the waters of unpinned genres, but pure entertainment nonetheless.

Review

Enclosed in this book are 17 short stories that range from 3 pages to about 30 (I didn’t count on some of the longer ones!).

Most of these stories are dark and some can be depressing when you look at the storyline.  But at the same time, some of these stories have an underlying moral to the story that should not be overlooked.

I liked most of the stories as they intrigued me and took me on an adventure through another time and place.  Some I wished were longer because I felt like there was more than could be told.  A few ended abruptly and left me wanting to know what happened next.

Overall these stories were intriguing and it was not all hearts and roses, but rather the heartbreak that we all experience at one time or another.

We give it 3 1/2 paws.

 

 

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Posted in 3 paws, Dark, humor, Review, Spotlight on January 17, 2015

russian optimism

 

Synopsis

Russian Optimism: Dark Nursery Rhymes To Cheer You Right Up is an illustrated coffee table book of thirty of Russia’s most horrifically hysterical nursery rhymes translated for an English speaking audience. Each rhyme is 2-4 lines, with an innocent title and a horrible ending. Each rhyme is accompanied by a brightly colored yet twisted illustration of the scenario described to add humor. Each two-page layout has the illustration on one side, and the title of the rhyme, the English text, the Russian text and the Russian transliteration (using English letters) on the other. For example, The Woods: “A little boy found a machine gun. Nothing lives in the woods anymore.” The rhymes are grouped in seven ironically titled chapters: Moral Messages, Parenting Pointers, Classic Cooking, Aquatic Adventures, Close Calls, Cheery Children and Explosive Endings.

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Russian Optimism has been mentioned on Inc.,  BoingBoingElite DailyMarginal Revolution and The NY Post.

Russian Optimism Website

Review

This is a rather interesting book.  I don’t know that I have read dark humor before but thought I would check this one out since each “chapter” was a short nursery rhyme.  I thought some of the rhymes were pretty good and others were downright disturbing.  But that is why it is called Dark Humor.  It all depends on what tickles your funny bone.

Here are a few of the pages from the book

Windy-Day-2page

Good-Timing-2page

We give this 3 paws up and if you like these examples you will probably like this book!

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About the Translator/Author

Ben Rosenfeld is a comedian and writer who has appeared on FOX’s Laughs, CBS This Morning and Rooftop Comedy. He is the creator of “Russian Optimism: Dark Nursery Rhymes To Cheer You Right Up,” an illustrated coffee table book which has spent time on Amazon’s Top 100 for Dark Humor Books. Ben has been featured as TimeOut New York’s Joke of the Week, twice headlined at Caroline’s on Broadway, hosted at the Lincoln Center and performs nightly in New York City. Each week he co-hosts “The Passive Aggressive Podcast” and recently released his first comedy album, “Neuro Comedy,” both of which are available on iTunes.

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