Synopsis

A decade has passed since Lucas Connolly lost his best friend—and the only man he’s ever loved—in World War I, but he still can’t shake his guilt over Jamie’s death. In fact, ever since losing Jamie, Lucas has heard his friend’s voice inside his head—confused about what happened to him, begging him for help. And now, suddenly, it’s not just Jamie’s voice anymore; now, a specter who looks and acts exactly like Jamie did before his death, and who is demanding answers from Lucas about what happened to him, has begun to haunt him.

Concerned about Lucas’s deteriorating mental state, his friend Angela encourages him to move on with his life, and even sets him up with a coworker whom she suspects is also gay. But Lucas is too consumed with the secret he still keeps about the part he played in Jamie’s death to even begin to form a healthy connection with someone new—and as Jamie’s ghost begins to recover his memories and get closer to the truth, Lucas’s obsession only deepens.

Ultimately, Lucas realizes that his only path forward is to first go backward—that only in examining his troubled youth, facing his deepest self, and shining a light on the shadowed parts of his past will he finally be able to set his old friend, and himself, free.

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Excerpt

With his other hand, Lucas slowly pulled out his revolver and pointed it at Jamie’s heart. “I love you, Jamie. I love you.” Lucas squeezed the trigger and kept his hand as steady as he could as Jamie’s blood sprayed all over his face. There was a moment of confusion or betrayal that crossed over Jamie’s features, his smile still playing on his lips, his eyes trying to register what had just happened. “Lucas…?”

The steady thrum of his heart slowed quite suddenly, his hand went slack, and the life drained from his eyes. All around them, the war seemed to go quiet.

“Jamie?” Lucas whispered, his voice wavering, his head shaking with disbelief… the gravity of his action began to sink in. What had he done? What had he done!?

“Jamie!!”

He shook his body, Jamie’s blood still hot and slick on his hand. His blond head flopped over to the side, his mouth ajar. Jamie’s beautiful eyes were still open, and Lucas let him drop to the soft wet ground, unable to support his weight any longer.

Jamie’s body squelched in the mud, and Lucas fell to his knees and screamed.

About the Author

Emma Deards grew up in New York City and earned her undergraduate degree at Barnard College at Columbia University, where she studied Japanese literature and biology. She was then accepted to The University of Edinburgh, where she completed her veterinary degree. She remained in the UK afterward, and since then has split her time between her day job as a vet and her truest passion: writing. Emma has authored a number humor articles for In Practice, a veterinary magazine, and was the recipient in college of two writing awards: Oscar Lee Award and the Harumatsuri Award. Wild with All Regret is her first book. She lives in Manchester, England.