Synopsis

Pickleball. Is it the ultimate therapy or a fast track to the counselor’s couch? While couples flock to the courts with dreams of shared joy, they are often quickly confronted by criticism and frustration, in other words, the reality of playing pickleball together. It’s no wonder both marriage counseling and divorce are on the rise.

Dr. Stormy Hill and Teri Citterman know the struggle. They’ve witnessed countless couples transform from sweethearts to sparring partners in the blink of an eye.

With a blend of humor and expertise, they offer couples playful and powerful strategies to master the court, have more fun, and win more points. Because, at the end of the day, it’s just pickleball. And no one wants to end up on an episode of Dateline.

Amazon

Praise

“A must-read for any pickleball-playing couple. It’s a hilarious and insightful look at the challenges and rewards of playing with your spouse.” – Tim Klitch, General Manager and part-owner of Major League Pickleball Team Texas Ranchers. Founder & Chief Fun Officer at Austin Pickle Ranch

“Teri and Stormy share personal stories of frustrations (and growth) while playing with their spouses, allowing readers to see themselves in the variety of personalities reflected. Teri’s direct, CEO-advising style complements Stormy’s therapy-based approach to enhance communication between partners. – Dr. Joel Bell PhD, LMHC, Son of Pickleball Co-Inventor Bill Bell

“In A Pickle is a game-changer for couples. I laughed, I cried! This book perfectly captures the chaos and joy of playing pickleball with your partner.” –  Pickleball Pro Dave ‘the Badger’ Weinbach, 10-time National Champion, 15-time US Open Champion, and winner of 210 Gold Medals

“This book is dynamite for couples, blending hilarious insights with genuinely useful tips on keeping love alive while smashing it on the pickleball court. I can’t recommend it enough for anyone who wants to score big in both their relationship and their pickleball game!” –  Dr. Sharon Noble, PhD, Couples Therapist, School Psychologist, Somatic Embodiment Coach

“In this delightful and humorous book, couples are taken on a journey of learning how to play pickleball together without driving each other crazy. The author’s witty and relatable anecdotes make this a must-read for any couple looking to strengthen their relationship while mastering a new sport.” – Kevin Beeson, KB Pickleball, Senior Pro Player, 3-time National Champion, Touring Teaching Professional, and Author of Pickleball Metaphors: The fast track to better pickleball

“This book is a delightful blend of beauty and humor. By reading it, not only will you enhance your game, but you will also strengthen your connection with your better half on the court. Enjoy the journey!” – Fernanda Aragon, Pickleball Pro, COPA LATAM PICKLEBALL National Women’s Doubles Champion for Costa Rica

Excerpt

Chapter 4: Playing with Intention vs. “In Tension” 

The line between deciding your intention and finding yourself in tension is narrow. On  the way to the club, you and your spouse are a confident couple, unstoppable, poised for  victory. But from the first serve on, confidence turns to confusion, “Who’s got the  middle?”¹ becomes WTF! and you find yourselves furiously in tension and seething with  rage. 

What the hell just happened?

Three powerful strategies to help shift you from tension to cohesion are intentions, goal setting,  and gratitude. These proven tools help people be more successful in life, love, and pickleball.

Power of Intention

Nothing beats being in the zone with your partner. When you and your spouse are setting each  other up for the put-aways, trusting that you’ve got the middle, knowing you both have each  other’s backs, you are winning! This is what happens when you are playing with intention, rather  than playing in tension.

Setting an intention is not some woo-woo, hippie way of hoping for the best. It is a well-studied  strategy to direct your thoughts, actions, and energy. Typically, an intention is a commitment to  yourself that is aligned with action. It can be one word or a few words that you invoke to help  you stay focused.

Examples of Setting Intention:

Have fun today.

Move my feet. Run for the ball.

Drop my third shots.

One more ball in play.

Move with my partner.

Serve strong. Stay focused.

Slow down.

Play competitive.

Bring the energy.

You see how varied intentions can be. That’s why it is good to set your intention each day that  you head to the court. It’s also a great practice for both you and your spouse to set an intention,  then share them with each other. That way, from the start you can know whether you’re aligned.

If your intention is “playing a chill game” and your partner’s is “to win at any cost,” then your  intentions are misaligned. In fact, your whole approach may be misaligned and that’s important  to recognize.

Teri’s competitive nature is well-known, but is not the same as her husband’s. Raj mentioned  this one day, which surprised her. “You like to compete, but you’re not ultra-competitive,” he  replied. Teri bristled.

When winning is paramount, Raj will reach deep into his reserves to pull out the skill necessary  to win. If he loses, he’ll fight to the end. That’s how intention quickly moves to being in tension. If  Teri loses, she doesn’t dwell on it. Raj, with his perfectionism, does. Raj acknowledges people  are different, and so to play together, his intention is to occasionally check his ultra competitiveness and remember it’s a choice to play with Teri.

Getting clarity on each other’s intentions is a good conversation to have before you step onto  the court.

During a day of play, Stormy’s intention was power. Steve’s intention was finesse. This worked  well for them. While she worked on her power game, he handled the drops and the resets. They  were in flow with their intentions and won most of their points.

Conversely, when Stormy’s intention was to “just have fun” and Steve’s intention was to “crush  the opponents,” one might imagine what it looks like to put a fire out by pouring gasoline on it.  Not pretty, and also ineffective.

Steve and Stormy were in tension. While Stormy was offering smiley faced “good tries” and  laughing at her errors, Steve’s blood pressure was rising. He sneered at each missed shot,  including his own, and poached 90% of the court. They were on the struggle bus, and there  were no more stops on the route. Recognizing they were in tension made it easier not to say something they couldn’t take back. That is a serious demonstration of self control, folks.

¹ A rallying war cry by Dave “the Badger” Weinbach, when your opponent hits the ball straight down the middle and creates  confusion between partners.

About the Authors

Stormy Hill is a mental health therapist and relationship coach from Salt Lake City, where you can ski some of the best peaks and play pickleball all in the same day.

Teri Citterman is an executive coach from Seattle, the birthplace of pickleball, who now resides in Austin, Texas, home to some of the top pro pickleball players in the world.

We are doubles partners at the 3.5 – 4.0 level. We met in Costa Rica and found we shared a love for pickleball and for our respective partners. We realized that, sometimes, the combination of the two ignites a chemical explosion that teeters on the edge of amazement before it plummets into a cesspool of disappointment.

We’ve experienced the pickleball highs and lows with our partners. Some days, we rock the court as a relational unit to be reckoned with. Other days, our looks can kill, words can wound, and it’s not just us. We’ve witnessed this dynamic between couples at rec play, drill practice, and at camps, clinics, and tournaments.  We’ve seen couples – husbands, wives, spouses, significant others, life partners, soulmates, and lovers – in conflict and losing points and faith in each other because of it.

We know the anguish and the addiction firsthand.

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