Synopsis
As both a teacher and school principal, Meredith Essalat has lived the daily challenges of helping children navigate through their young lives. She has seen the struggles that parents have as they balance longer working hours with the demands of home life. Essalat offers hard-won pointers, enabling parents, teachers, and students alike to encourage one another while holding everyone accountable for their actions.
Combining humor with straightforward, practical advice, “The Overly Honest Teacher” is a fresh take on 21st century child-rearing and development. The results will be well-adjusted, positive, enthusiastic young adults ready to work hard and take on the world. And isn’t that what we all want for our children?
Excerpt
Someone once said to me, “The hardest part of your job must be that no matter what you do during the day, it doesn’t make a full impact if it’s not being done at home, too.”
As teachers, we come to realize that much of our work from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. is unraveled the moment our students vacate campus. That boulder of molding, shaping, guiding, and coaching rolls right back down to the base of the proverbial hill the next morning, when said student comes bounding in the front doors of the school tossing expletives like confetti. And it doesn’t just have to do with language. Healthy eating habits, time management, respect for self and others, responsible use of technology, self-advocacy, volunteerism, benevolence, tenacity, wearing a helmet—the list goes on and on. If we, as educators, aren’t working in tandem with you, as parents, to establish similar expectations, then how can any of us expect to witness growth and change in your kids?
“No” cannot exist in a vacuum. “No” cannot be said once, brought to the bargaining table, and then somehow rationalized, or pulverized, into a tepid “Yes.” No really does mean no. Sometimes you are able to give your child a choice—I often do the same thing. It’s an easy way to establish clean boundaries, to steer your student in the proper direction, all the while giving them the opportunity to be involved in healthy decision-making.
“No, you can’t avoid an assessment on The Book Thief, but you can choose which way you’d like to show me what you know: an essay or a quiz?”
“No, you can’t throw your lunch away because it’s essential that you fuel your body. But you can pick two of the three items to eat and take the rest home for a snack later.”
“No, you can’t go out without a jacket because it’s too cold on your body. But you can pick between your parka and your fleece.”
Explain. Elaborate. Establish. The three Es of productive conversation with your child. Will it always end in unicorns and harmony? Not a chance. But will it help to foster healthy conversation with your child? Absolutely.
Explain your rules, rationale, reasons.
Elaborate on your expectations when they push back.
Establish clear boundaries and expectations.
At the end of the day, we’re all on the same road traveling to the same destination, as parents, teachers, and children. Let’s be both clear and kind. Let’s have boundaries. Let’s travel together, holding one another accountable when our students want to assert their independence beyond the limits of what’s acceptable.
About the Author
Meredith Essalat is a K-8 school principal in San Francisco, CA, and author of The Overly Honest Teacher. With a career in academia that has spanned more than 17 years, she started off in collegiate student activities before moving into both elementary and secondary academic communities. She spent nine years in middle school education as both teacher and Dean of Middle School Curriculum. In each of these opportunities, she witnessed the gamut of the scholastic, social, and developmental experiences of today’s student. She possesses a BA in Mass Communication, a California-Clear Multiple Subject Teaching Credential, a M.Ed. in Curriculum and Instruction, and a second M.Ed. in Educational Leadership. Essalat resides in California with her husband, Cameron.
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